What a day. As if I haven't been feeling so well lately- now this. When I was washing my face this am I noticed that it looked like I had freckles on my right hand an wrist. What the f? Freaky and weird, little red dots and I don't know what it's from. B asked if I washed off the diesel oil I had got on me yesterday- I was helping him drain the old truck oil into the the containers the new stuff had come in. I don't know, it's been all day and now my hand and arm feel weak, just like I felt after I had the IV removed from when I was in the hospital last year. That was my WORST nightmare come true, and worse than I ever could've dreamed. Lately it's been my sinuses, I'm all stuffy and it gives me bad headaches and makes me feel tired. If this is allergies, it sucks. At least I got over that post nasal drip crap, that was the worst. Being claustrophobic and waking up unable to breathe is a pretty bad feeling. These little panic-attack things with the breathing are freaking me out, I don't panic unless it's a claustrophobic thing. It's such a stupid fear, I can't even sit in the El Camino (a 2-door car no less) without feeling like I'll die. The roof slants down too much, I feel like I'll be crushed. I was going to try to drive it someday when B was at work, just to get over this crap, but I can't sit in the car even if I have the door open- what a nutcase. The c thing is usually brought about by a car, elevators and crowds don't bother me a bit. I'd love to be hypnotized to stop that awful feeling, I know I'm fine, I'm safe, etc- my head just doesn't believe it. Luckily, in my life, it hasn't held me back from too many things. I know for sure I can't wear a full face helmet for a motorcycle or a scuba mask, those are 2 things which don't come up too much in everyday life for me. I remember that time in Howe Caverns when I freaked out, B was cool and told me to close my eyes and just hold his hand and follow him out. Caverns are no longer in my vacation plans. He sort of understands, he doesn't like crowds and hates airplanes with a total fear. I used to have the c problem when getting on the plane, not a problem anymore which is kind of strange considering all those people in such a small space- you can bet I would never use a bathroom on one though. Ok, time to take drugs (Benadryl sinus) and try to get some sleep, hope my hand is back to normal tomorrow, don't want to pay $90 to see Dr M again.