It's Thurs pm, I finished 3 days at the new office. The girl I'm training with had me on the computer yesterday afternoon and most of today. It seems like there's so much to remember, so many forms, things the customers need, just ALOT of everything. I got my first paycheck today for 40 hrs, the next one will be for 2 weeks but they will take out $ for all kinds of things. I can't wait to get my benefits started, but I'm kind of worried about going to the dr. I have just a few I'd like to see- the eye dr, gyno, Dr P, a dermatologist, podiatrist- how many more can I name? I know they judge you on your time taken off, but how can I stay well unless I have some maintenence?
I've been getting up a little after B, I don't really need that much time in the am, especially if I shower and wash my hair at night. I still shower in the am, but it's a quicky. It's nice to take my time and eat my oatmeal and yogurt (shared w/Rudy, of course) and catch up on the news on GMA. I get so tired early, especially if I walk the dogs when I get home. There's alot of sitting at work, I need to exercise somehow. I love that I'm so close to work, no traffic and no bridge- I'm not going to renew my transponder in Oct- I don't need it. If I go to FM on the weekend, it will usually be in B's truck anyway. He says we should keep it for the El C, I don't see the point- whatever.
I got email from A and Mom/Dad. M&D are up near Cape Cod on the boat, that's where the tropical storm is headed- I hope they're safe. A is sweating in Puerto Vallarta with his gfriend, says it's a great resort. We WILL get to take a real vaca someday- hopefully next year. I called the paver co today, they still haven't been here to pick up their garbage or the pallets. I got the bill yesterday, they are NOT getting paid until they do their shit. I'm pissed about the crap in the pool too, B shouldn't have to be doing all the cleaning. That ass salesman is just a yes-man, just tells us what we want to hear. I'm not dealing with that ass anymore, I'll call the office everyday until they do something about this. What lousy cust svce to say the least- they don't even communicate with each other.
I'm still surprised at how casual people dress at work. I don't see too many of them even wearing skirts, and most wear casual open-toed sandals (no pantyhose) and pants. The no sleeve shirts can't be t-shirts or spagetti straps, but some of my tank tops are ok- just weird. At least I won't be too warm at work.

Well, it's Sat am. It's been a long week. I started the new job on Mon, I can't believe we spent a whole day just going over benefits and paperwork. The training woman, Madeline, was very good at explaining things and I'm so glad I will be able to go to any doctor and it won't cost me more than $25. The prescriptions alone will save me mega bucks. The pay is pretty low, but I'll be able to save/invest some of it, and I get one sick and one vaca day per month-awesome. Sitting at the computer learning stuff is ok, I just feel like I can't sit for that long. I really like the Cust Support Dept, I worked w/Karen (from NY too)- she was so friendly and great to ask questions to. The hour break for lunch will be much better when I start at my office on Tues, 3 miles from the house, I could go home for lunch if I wanted to, and do the local errands if needed. There is so much to know, I had no idea it was so involved. I think I'll love meeting people from all over who move here, and being able to help them is so important.
The paver guys showed up on Tues, finally! It took them 3 days to finish because of the rain, it looks good. I was just annoyed about the dust, crooked drain, crooked pavers and the fact that they put the hammock frame and barbecue outside. The salesman is the one that I'm mostly annoyed with, he just told us what we wanted to hear and promised a lot. I really don't like seeing the white rim under the new coping, he said it would be covered. I guess we could drain the pool a little and paint it. I want to paint the outside walls of the lanai the same color as the coping, it's kind of a goldish-tan. I love the pavers outside the back door, the one on the side looks small, but it fits the space. Anyway, the ass was supposed to be here at 9am (so he told B), but it's 10:15 and no show. Typical, I'm so not surprised. B and John are working on the El Camino in the garage, I don't understand putting all that time and energy into it when it's not the car he really wants. He said he'll sell it and get a nice Dart, works for me. I think he likes that car and the fact that it's easier to work on for him and that's a bit of a stress reliever.
Well, stuff to do and places to go....

It's Sunday, about 8am. What the hell am I doing up this early? Well, it's "practice" for tomorrow- the big day. The first day of the rest of my working life. I seriously intend to retire from the county, just as my parents did in NY. I want the great health benefits, the weekends and holidays off and the retirement plan that goes with it. Mostly, I want a job I can feel satisfied with and be able to help people. I also would like to make some real friends, not just work acquaintances. I have to go the the office that I did all the pre-job stuff at tomorrow, I'm going to leave really early so that I don't have to worry about any unforseen commuting problems. I don't know how long I have to train there, I can't wait to work just 3 miles from home. I have to go thru my clothes too, want to look nice and make a good impression. I got my hair trimmed yesterday, layers again on the sides and a drop shorter in the back. I think the dogs will miss be being around as much as I was for the past few months, it's a long day when B and I are both working.
The f'g paver people piss me off! The supervisor guy called on Thurs and said they would be there on Fri- I wasn' too surprised when they didn't show. Assholes, they are from here, don't they know it rains every f'g day in the summer? This puts them behind schedule, no shit. At this rate, we'll be lucky if they do anything by Nov! The salesman dropped off a copy of the so-called contract, it was the paper I signed when we picked out the bricks and I gave him the credit card #. I told the office secretary how he had called and said their machine wasn't working and could I give him a check. Of course he quickly volunteered to pick it up at the house the next day. The contract paper is different than the one he gave me that day, if I have to sure these jerks that may work in my favor. I was more concerned about getting additional charges, these guys don't communicate with each other and I don't exactly trust them.
I have some broken down cardboard boxes in this room, Logan and Rudy keep beating the crap out of each other around them. Logan got locked in here again last night, I feel like we need to do a headcount before we go to bed each night.
B worked yesterday, then on the car, then we decided to go to the beach for an early dinner. It was the lowest tide we had ever seen there, the people were walking out almost as far as the little shop on the pier. We usually do the greek thing, but we decided to go to the pier restaurant where I had gone w/cousin C when she visited a few years ago. The 3 of us had gone there as well, I remember B not being impressed. It was better than we had expected, but I don't think we'll go back for awhile. We got home and started to watch Kiss kiss, Bang bang- about 5 minutes into it the power went out. How annoying, and it wasn't even raining. We got so much rain the past couple of days that the front and driveway look like a lake. Well, it was out for about and hour and a half, we lit a candle and hung out in the bedroom hoping that it wouldn't be all night. It was so humid out, and starting to get stuffy and warm when the power came back on- yay.
Since I'm up and semi-awake, I may go get some bagels for breakfast. B says it's his day to sleep, I hope the dogs cooperate and don't wake him up. I'm going to be so tired tomorrow- I haven't had anything besides ice tea with caffeine in it, I don't want to start that crap again. I think the diet soda from Sam in the mall took a few years off my life, no thanks.
I clicked on "next blog" at the top of this page the other day, and read about a teenage girl in Canada, she has alot of rage- especially toward guys. I felt like I was reading my high school journal almost, I left a comment for her. Her boyfriend commented on my blog, said a profound thing about parents and grieving, smart for a young guy. If they only knew how much things would change in the next few years....oh the plans we thought would happen. I truly wish them luck and would tell them to live in the moment, the future could be anything. As for futures, mine starts tomorrow.

Oh crap, here we go again. If it's not heartburn, it's not being able to breathe, if it's not that it's leg and foot pain. Tonight I won the jackpot- all 3. Another reason is that M called, we talked for over an hour and a half, it was so good to talk to her. She gave me the update on K's mother, she went to the wake and the funeral is tomorrow. One of the greatest things about M is her memory and attention to details- she can relay almost any story as if it actually happened to her, I feel like I was there. I can't picture a lot of the people I haven't seen in awhile, and it was surprising to hear that I was mentioned a few times among the group. I had to smile when M said that Sandy said that I was in so many of the pictures they had. I told her how I don't even have one of K's parents and that I thought that was strange. She sounded surprised when I told her I had a bunch of pics of her parents- they had so many get-togethers at their house, and the weddings too. I love talking to her, she just makes me feel like I'm a part of something, friendships are lacking and missed sometimes for me. How different things would be if we would've stayed in NY. I love B and wouldn't want to change anything between us, but sometimes you have to wonder about fate. Moving to FL (not away from NY) was probably the best thing for us, I'm hoping at the new job I make long time friends.
Today (actually yesterday now) would've been 6 years at the last job, I almost emailed my old DM to say hi and then thought against it. KK was on the computer earlier and she updated me with all the weapons training she's going for, she seems to like it. She said the next time she goes to the shooting range she'll call (after I told her B likes to shoot sometimes). I told her it's not exactly my idea of fun, but if B wanted to go that I would. He said the same thing to me, funny how we know each other so well. She emailed me pics of little T, he's a cutie that kid. I'll never forget the day at the mall when she thought her water broke and casually asked me if I could drive her to the hospital. I pretty much freaked out, while she stood and made phone calls to a few people. Thank god it was a false alarm, but still. M told me about JL's new baby boy and how G lost so much weight from the gastric bypass surgery. Size 10 and no boobs, I'll never recognize her. She could use the pic I have of her and C from Christmas '04 as a before pic for sure. M said the way she lost 50 lbs in 10 months was on the sugar busters (?) diet. No sugar or white flour- sounds great in theory. She says when she got preg w/her son and had him she gained so much back. I have to lose some too, not working and cooking dinner and eating has messed me up. Someday I'll have the ideal "normal" schedule- yeah right.
Another reason I'm stressing, it's amazing how feeling helpless can piss you off. The f'g paver company is driving me nuts. When the hell is the work going to be done? The ass salesman said by the end of this week (last week), I spoke to the supervisor guy today and he said Mon the earliest and Tues the latest. I told him we weren't happy with the lack of communication, and the my LAWYER said I needed a contract stating the exact price before the work starts. He said someone will drop it off, can't wait to see it. Just do it already, now I won't be home to see the progress as I start the new job on Mon.
The woman from the office called to say it was a go, they just need the SS card and copy of my hs diploma when I come in. The nurse from the health screening worried me a bit, but I guess all was ok. I am seriously thinking about my retirement party at work, I'll have been there over 20 years- wonder what the future has to offer and where I'll be. The positive attitude is out in full force- look out world, here I come. Now if I could only get some sleep...

2:30 in the morning, and guess what, can't sleep again. This heartburn crap has got to stop sometime. I was thinking that the reason I've felt like crap for the past couple of months is that I was taking cold medicine almost every day, I'm trying not to now. It's just my sinuses are all f'd up and I really can't breathe before I go to bed. The breathe-right strips are helping, along with the Vicks shoved into my nostrils every night.
M emailed me last night, read it this afternoon- K's mom died. M didn't have any info, but she said I could call her as she didn't have my # (?). I left a message on her home machine with my cell and home #, she didn't call. Back to that whole coincidence crap, I was on the NY paper blog and read that they wanted to develop land near the cemetery there. That's the one that K's great-grandfather had the gravestones done for his parents and brother before he died. Funeral homes are the business to be in, everyone gets there eventually. That's where B's father was taken, that horrible experience that we shared nearly 15 years ago already. I'm sorry that B had to go thru all that stuff when his mother died, but I'm thankful that I stayed here. I keep saying we have to do wills, he won't give me a straight answer on what he wants when the time comes, I just want to be cremated- whatever with the ashes.
M had told me a while ago that she had run into K's mom and that she had asked about me. M says the woman loved me, which I find hard to believe. I always thought she resented me, and was glad when the relationship was over, she always seemed to like M much more than me. I remember a phone conversation with her, something about how he couldn't have a car at college because seeing me would distract him from his school work. Well, we stayed together thru the long distance relationship and then some, we were so different back then. I couldn't see that we were so different, I always thought he settled for his life when he could've been such a great teacher or something else besides a laborer. Not that there's anything wrong with that kind of job, but it's seems like a bit of a waste. He would also be a great dad, it's too bad his mother didn't see that with him, M says his sister has a son though. I'm so glad my parents are happy and healthy, I feel so bad for Mr. B- he was almost always nice to me and had that quiet sense of humor. I don't know K anymore and haven't for years, but I would like to send a sympathy card or note just to let him know that I care. It's strange that I almost went to NY this week, now I'm glad I didn't- it would be too weird. I really wanted to see my parents, A, and even J. I would've liked to see M too. I'm starting my new job on Mon, I just hope I really like it and it's the last job I have and retire someday. B's snoring his brains out, but I need to sleep- tomorrow's July 4th and Kelly will be petrified most of the night from the fireworks. Good night everyone, or good morning it seems.

It's almost 4am and I can't sleep. It sucks because I'm really tired and all I do is the toss and turn thing. B has been snoring really loud too, it actually wakes me up when I almost fall asleep more times than not. I love how Logan appears instantly when I go in the "computer room", I don't even know when he started doing this. He loves to be in this room, he scractches on the old folded runner carpet, then either curls up in the cardboard box on the floor or on the other chair near me. B says it's because no one bothers him in there, which isn't always true. Rudy makes a guest appearance occasionally to take control of the sleeping box, or when he's bored and wants to bug someone. Kelly just came in and put her head on my lap, she is so cute-especially when she's tired. I took the girls out at about 2:30 when I awoke with heartburn, it just annoys me to be out there calling Kelly to come a bunch of times, it's not like she can go too far in the backyard. It's kind of nice to know the animals like to be near me, sometimes when I'm on the computer before I go to bed, Katie is waiting in the livingroom and follows me to the bedroom when the time comes. The cats like to be in the bedroom when I'm in there, except Logan the loner- he hangs out on the back of the couch in the livingroom. It always surprises me that they are all in the same house with the same routine/upbringing yet they all have their own personalities (like kids, I guess). I'd love to type some more, but my eyes are drooping and who knows what time some hairy beast will want to go out in a few hours....